I Just Got My Third 360 - Second One Takes An E74 Dump

Today at approximately 5pm pacific standard time, I started my umpteenth try at defeating the 3rd stage boss in Ninja Gaiden II. A silvery, railroad trainy, electriky organic, machine-o-death kind of thingy.

And then all of a sudden, like a flash from some kind of Max Headroom-like nightmare my screen fills with vertical lines. Hmm. Bad game disk? (I thought). I could still navigate my way around my 360, but only through a haze of vertical lines. Well, there it was on my Xbox Live menu as well. While wishfully thinking I restarted the machine and there it was. An E74 error message and a blinking red light on the front of my console. Not the dreaded red ring of death ok? But still I knew this was gonna suck. So it tells me to go to the Xbox support site. I do. On the site I find a completely useless page that tells me to unplug everything and replug it back in. I do. Nothing. The page on the support site says that if none of the above solves the problem then I should call tech support. I do. The perfectly pleasant tech support guy tells me he's going to have to start a repair order; that I'm going to have to send in my 360 to be repaired. That's what my $60.00 best buy warranty is for I told him in so many words.

My 360 is my crack cocaine. Throughout the course of my life I've given up almost every vice that a human being could possibly live for. Coke, weed, pills, booze, hallucinogens; and last year, the piece DE resistance, my mind saving sanity preserver: Cigarettes. In order to deal with giving up smokes I took up a previous video game addiction. I figured it's better for me than nicotine. It is. So I can't handle having to wait while Microshit sends me a coffin so I can send them my beloved 360 so I can wait while they basterdize it and send it back to me. No fucking way! I will go on a fucking shooting spree if I have to wait 6 to 8 weeks. So, that's why I got the Best Buy 2 year warranty. I just popped on over to Best Buy and BOOM! No questions asked they brought down a brand new glossy 360 box. And even better? It now comes with Forza 2 (and Marvel Ultimate Alliance) so I get that as sort of a great consolation prize for giving up my game saves which I should have asked If I could swap hard drives cause they would have done it 'cause my buddy LIBERTINA GR1M on Xbox Lve told me I probably could so I drove down there again with my new 120 gig hard drive to swap it for my old one and they said sure but doesn't it figure that my old broken down 360 is no long in the store? In the hour and a half since I swapped, the truck came and swept my old broken down 360 away. You know what? I don't really give a shit. So what if I have to start Ninja Gaiden II over again. Actually I'll be starting Bioshock over for the third time; I'm not all too happy about that. But whatever, I didn't think of swapping hard drives when I initially traded out. I won't make that mistake again because you KNOW that eventually, at some point in time this 360 will take a dump just like my other two did. I have no faith whatsoever in Microsoft as a hardware maker. Two previous consoles; both of 'em died. No faith whatsoever. At least I still have my "prestige".

Gaming's Dark Side: Bigotry and Intolerance Online

In November of ’07 I bought an Xbox 360. I was absent for the better part of last generation’s consoles so I don’t know how long this has or hasn’t been going on over the years, all I know is that I was exposed to it last November. I expected trash talk. I don’t mind trash talk and have been known to make a sailor blush on occasion myself but I can’t tolerate hate speech. I am intolerant to intolerance and I was totally unprepared for the bile that started spewing out of people’s mouths while playing online.

The N word is primarily used to two ways online. The first and most common usage appears to be (as Mr. Show put it) “white people co-opting black culture”. You know, middle class white kids saying things like “Yo, wat up nigga”. Pathetic and embarrassingly ignorant, this usage has become common in the last decade or so as hip-hop and “gangsta” culture has risen to soaring heights via Eminem, Snoop, McDonald commercials, and the like. These are just dumb white kids making themselves look painfully foolish while desperately trying to appear cool. The other usage is of the truly frightening kind; bigotry and hatred in its most basic form. This comes from people who hate an entire race of people for the plain and shallow fact that their skin is a different color. Or that they practice a different religion, or that they’re women. They have gamer tags such as “JewsAreGayyy”. In the world of Xbox live being gay is considered one of the very worst things a human being can be, they boast “I shot that nigger in the face”. Or the guy I heard that told his friend “Well, at least you’re not Jewish” or the man that told the woman on our team “Why don’t you just suck my mother-fucking cock you slut”.

Nothing is being done

Microsoft’s system for dealing with this problem is virtually non-existent. While it’s possible to file a complaint against someone for using hate speech or against someone who’s engaging in some other inappropriate behavior it’s practically useless because anyone can file a complaint against anyone else for any reason thereby rendering all complaints suspect. I don’t like you because you killed me a dozen times in a match and talked some smack? Fine, I’m going to file a complaint against you for using hate speech.

Only child predators are a potentially bigger problem than bigotry as online console gaming becomes a dominant and more mainstream form of entertainment and we all know that if sexual predators were as common as racists are on Xbox Live, Microsoft would throw its considerable and unmatched muscle at the problem. So why are sexual predators more likely to be given the attention they deserve while bigots are currently allowed to roam free? I think the truth is that, to them, one is acceptable while the other is not. God, I wish that weren’t true but I fear that it is. The reason why it’s flourishing in the online console gaming world is that nobody is stopping it.

The Solution

Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo need to send a clear message that hate will not be tolerated on their online services. I believe that moderators are the only realistic way to deal with the problem. Either hire people to do it or hand pick them from the Xbox live community (and perhaps pay them with free Xbox Live accounts and/or free downloads). Use hate speech once and get banned for a day. Use it again and get banned for a month. Use it again and get banned for life. The message would be quickly sent that it’s not in anybody’s interest to speak in this manner.

Ban someone based on their sign up info such as their credit card, address, phone number etc. Make it so they can’t just change their screen name. I have a feeling that once it gets out Microsoft is serious about this and that people are losing their online privileges for life we might eventually see an end to the hate speech online.

A friendly environment for all

Punishing violators doesn’t eliminate racism but it does make the online gaming environment a nicer place to be. An online gaming community should be a safe, fun place for everyone to enjoy, not just the profoundly ignorant. It is crucial that Microsoft, Sony, and others send the clearest and strongest possible message, that hate will not be tolerated. You cannot just give a chuckle and tell yourself “kids will be kids”.

Ninja Gaiden II Demo: A Love/Hate Thing

I've been looking forward to Ninja Gaiden II for quite awhile now. About a year. I didn't finish the Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox. I was waiting for #2 so they would fix that damn camera, right? I mean there was no doubt in my mind that the camera would be fixed. It's so frujeebly obvious. That they needed to fix the camera. In Ninja Gaiden. The camera needed fixing. Obviously. They're professional game designers! They KNOW the camera needs fixing. Right?

The camera in Ninja Gaiden II is worse.

The world is a very strange place. It is completely beyond my ability of comprehension to understand how the camera not only wasn't fixed but made worse.

Next point. The graphics. The screenshots leading up to the release of the game are just gorgeous. After playing the demo I have to say that that I was A LITTLE underwhelmed. The backgrounds and scenes stylistically remind me of one of my favorite games of all time Okami II (again with an odd, imperfect camera but miles better than the camera in NGII). The backgrounds and settings in the demo feel very "last generation" to me. The Characters look great. The characters and action look next-gen. It's an interesting combination that, if not wholly successful is not wholly unsuccessful either. It feels Japanese in that it has it's heart in the past while stepping into the future.

Now to the actual gameplay. Well, there's that aweful camera. Let's pretend for just a second that the awful camera isn't there. It's Awesome; incredibly addicting and engrossing and beautiful. And the blood. The beautiful blood and flying limbs and shooting blood. Like red paint being thrown straight from the bucket onto a wall. The gameplay. It's also frustrating. At times the game moves into a platforming style. I'm not into it. Or at least I'm not into the way it's done here. Let's just say the camera is problematic. Did I happen to mention that before? There's also an ability to zoom into first person. I found absolutely no use for this feature but it might be that there's no use for it in the demo level.

Overall I will say that there were times when playing the demo where I was completely wowed, entranced and thrilled. I'm going to buy this game which is something I rarely do. Buy games. For all it's flaws, and there are many, it's still a mesmerizing, awesome piece of action gaming. There's something about Japanese idiosyncratic style that I find magnetic and undeniable. And for better and for worse it's all here in NGII. While it's creator has stated that it's the last one in the series (and has quit and begun a lawsuit against his former bosses) I certainly hope that isn't the case. Cause I really want them to fix that Frebenhaphen camera!

Juggernaut Is Alive and Well

My unreliable source proved to be just that; unreliable. We all knew that juggernaut wasn't going to go anywhere but man, it sure felt good feeling that hope.

Karen Allen Superstar

How come Karen Allen didn't become a HUGE star? Not only was she more than a welcome sight in "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" but I just saw her again in Starman. She is just one of the most beautiful and interesting women to have ever graced the silver screen. I'm madly in love with her.

Call of Duty 4 Update Rumor! No More Juggernaut?!

just got it from totally unofficial source (a stranger I was playing with online) that there's going to be a huge CoD 4 update this Sunday (June 8th). According to my source the Juggernaut perk is going to be removed from the game as well as "Last Stand". I certainly hope not because while I hate juggernaut using tards on CoD4, I make a few extra bucks selling anti-juggernaut t-shirts.

I sincerely doubt the veracity of my dubious source's claim but in reality I would love to see all the little juggernaut using cry-babies go nuts when their worthless little perk gets kicked into oblivion. A man can dream can't he? Goodnight and Godspeed while I go rack up double xp!

No Failo 3 From Microsh*t

I am sad to report that I, as well as countless others, will not be getting our promised free copy of Halo 3 . The gist is this: Microsoft had what appears to be only a few hundred copies of Halo 3 available for the promotion (Switch an xbox live account from an original xbox to the 360 between Nov. 21 and Dec. 24th and get a free copy of Halo 3). After talking to XBOX customer service I found out that over 4000 people registered for the promotion; around 1000 qualified for the free copy of Halo 3. It was verified by 2 (or was it 3?) supervisors that I did qualify but they ran out of copies (while supplies last). The thing that gets my panties all twisted up in a knot is that I registered about a week after the promotion started (it ran about a month). I don't know how many copies they had to give a way but I'm thinking it's substantially less than a thousand. Offering a couple hundred free copies of Halo 3 at christmas time constitutes a drawing more than it does a promotion that's worded "Do "Y" and get "X" free!"Why couldn't Microsoft have worded their promotion something like this: “The First 500 people to transfer their original Xbox account to a new Xbox 360 will receive a free copy of Halo 3”? Because they wouldn't have sold FOUR THOUSAND XBOX 360's, that's why. This is such a scam on Microsoft’s part. By stating “Transfer your account…get a free copy…” you imply that there are more than just a hundred copies available. We’re talking about Halo 3 at Christmas time for cryin’ out loud! AND why they couldn't have told me this during my first call to customer service instead of 6 or 7 calls later? UGH! Ok, I have to finish packing for my move.

Oh Halo Where Art Thou?

The ongoing saga of my free Halo 3 game continues. To recap: For the holidays Microsoft ran this promotion: Switch an xbox live account from an original xbox to the 360 between Nov. 21 and Dec. 24th and get a free copy of Halo 3.

It's now Feb 8, 2008 and I've yet to recieve the game. I've called customer support 5 times and spent over two hours on the phone (mostly on hold). At first I believe there was a language barrier as I was unable to communicate clearly that I wasn't waiting for a "replacement disc" for a damaged disc I sent them. Over and over again I had to re-iterate that they, Microsoft, ran a promotion for which I was eligible. You can read my previous posts on this topic here at to find out more details on my previous attempts to correct the situation.

Here's the latest! Got a customer service rep named "Danielle" (which I don't believe was her real name due to the fact that she pronounced it two different ways). I give her a reference # for my previous call (with Jeff). She looks over what I childishly imagine is detailed information regarding my situation. She asks how she can help me; I tell her I still haven't recieved my copy of Halo 3 yet to which she replies "You haven't recieved your Halo 3 replacement disc?".

I slowly put the barrel of the gun in my mouth. I begin to pull the trigger...

I decide against the good 'ol U.S. of A's version of seppoku and continue my conversation with Danielle. I try my best to fill her in. She has no idea what I'm talking about. Promotion? She can barely pronounce the word let alone define it. I ask her if I can email her the link to the promotion's web page. She say's they cannot accept emails from customers. I spend the next several minutes trying to get her to this web site:

http://www.xbox.com/en-US/games/h/halo3/promotions/buyxboxgethalo.htm

Don't let ANYONE tell you that something is impossible. Because, by gum, we finally got her there! Here's where it gets interesting. She looks over the page for a few seconds and is now a veritable treasure trove of information regarding this promotion. Here's the long and short of it:

They ran out of discs and had to get more. The latest shipment of discs went out on the first of February and will probably be arriving by February 5th but for sure no latter than February 15th. If, by some act of God, my disc doesn't arrive by the 15th, I should not hesitate to call again.

I asked her, out of curiosity why had I been told on several different occasions that my disc would be arriving on several different dates. Her response was a kind of speaking in tongues. Instead of trying to bridge our communication barrior I was struck with the profound need to end the call and put my head in a vice.

More to follow.

Xbox Originals for $15.00? Bah!

Backwards compatibility for a console is a cool thing and the fact that my 360 can play almost any original Xbox title is great. But as far as the three systems go, just the idea of being able to play virtually every Nintendo, Sega, N64, Neo Geo, TG-16 and SNES game throughout recorded time makes me drool like an alien about to chomp Ripley. That’s why I think it goes without saying that Nintendo wins the downloadable back catalog competition without even having to put up a fight.

With Xbox Live’s fall update, original Xbox games started making their way onto the 360 for download. Sounds great right? Not for what Microsoft is charging for them on XBL, $15.00 per title is way north of fair. You can go into most any major electronics store and find many of the titles you’d want to play for $9.99 new. You can find ‘em on eBay for even less. The question is this: Why would I pay $15.00 for a download that takes up more than a gig of space on my console’s hard drive when I can buy the game for 10 bucks or less and leave that hard drive space for other uses. Most of the Wii Virtual Console games go for between five and ten bucks. That essentially means that I can get Super Mario Bros. 3 for five to ten on the VC but I’ll spend $15.00 for Fusion Frenzy on the 360? That makes no sense to me. I think a varying price model like the Virtual Console’s makes sense. On principle alone I can’t buy any of the Xbox Originals. I would just feel like I downloaded an idiot bomb into my brain. If I want to play Halo or Burnout 3 I’ll get them online or in a store. Hopefully this foolish price scheme is just a “let’s take advantage of the first in line” ploy and is only a temporary misstep by Microsoft.

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ALL ABOUT ME: New News On The Delay Of My "Free Halo 3"

Today I recieved a "Halo 3 Essentials: Disc 2" in the mail today to appearently replace a faulty disc (I've never owned Halo 3). Livid doesn't begin to describe it. I've explained to them over and over during the course of THREE previous calls that I don't need a "repair" disc, that I'm eligible to recieve a free copy of Halo 3 for a promotion they ran.

Anyhow, I called up the super friendly people at 800-4-MY-XBOX after recieving my "H3E:D2". This time I talked to a very nice guy named Jeff. English is his first language (Look, I don't care if you're lime green, come from venus and breath out of your ass while talking through your eyes, as long as we can communicate clearly to each other and you can understand what I'm saying, we're good). In two minutes Jeff was able to accomplish what had previously been a herculean task. He found out that they're running about a week behind on sending out the free game. He said that I should recieve it in the next couple of days and that if I don't have it by the first to give them another call. Why couldn't the first person I talked to tell me this? Why did I have to tell them several times that I've never owned Halo 3, that I'm just trying to get my free Halo 3 disc for this specific promotion? Updates forthcoming as needed :)

SAVAGE RUMORS UPDATE: EB has joined Best Buy in being X'd out of Xbox!

In a rumor first postulated right here on Fuzzy Voltage here is a story from Kotaku AU. Appearently EB hasn't had ANY Xbox 360's since X-Mas either. Something very odd is going on. Here's an excerpt from the story:

"I called countless EB Games stores across the country this morning, and at each store, was told the same thing: they had no Premium 360s in stock, and had not received new stock since before Christmas. None of the managers I spoke to had any idea why they weren't being restocked. Most of them sounded more than a little pissed off about it. Little strange that store managers would be kept in the dark about such serious supply problems, unless...well, unless the supply problem was at a higher level.

Bear in mind these claims are, at this point, unsubstantiated by either EB Games or Microsoft ("Microsoft does not comment on rumour and speculation"), but the consistency of the supply "issues" across the country is, at the least, highly suspicious."

ALL ABOUT ME: Free Halo 3 promotion proves, so far, to be an exercise in nothingness

I finally made the decision to purchase the Xbox 360 when I found the following promotion: If you own an original Xbox and currently have an Xbox Live account and you purchase a 360 between November 1st and December 24th and transfer your live account from your old Xbox to your new 360 Microsoft will send you a free copy of Halo 3.

I was waiting for the right sale/incentive to make the jump to purchase the 360 and this was definitely it. A free copy of what amounted to this generation’s version cabbage patch kid? I’m so there. So on November 27th I picked up an X360 pro. I went home and registered on the Xbox.com site for the promotion and transferred my Xbox live account to my new 360. Woo Hoo! Now I just had to wait “through January 18th” to receive my copy of H3.

Nearly two months later and by January 16th I still hadn’t received my free copy of Halo 3. I had what I guess you’d call a premonition that I wouldn’t be receiving my game on time so I decided to call 800-4MY-XBOX to see what the status was. The long and short of that first call is that it took them forty minutes to tell me my disc would be arriving on the 18th.

As you might have guessed, the 18th came and went and I’m still Halo-less. I called Xbox customer support on the 20th and spoke to a very nice service rep. I’m going to stop right now to mention that everyone I’ve talked to at 800-4-my-xbox is frighteningly polite, which is fine because I’ll take unnaturally nice over commonly discourteous any day. They also keep referring to the free copy of Halo 3 as a “replacement disc”. During each call I have to inform them at least once that it is not a replacement disc but a free promotional disc. Anyhow my call then gets forwarded to a supervisor named Miss Chiqui (pronounced cheeky) who graduated with a doctorate in warm fuzzies. She is extremely polite, sweet, and helpful (I’m fully convinced that Xbox customer service reps are the direct descendents of the Stepford Wives). She tells me that she’s extremely sorry that my replacement disc hasn’t arrived and will send out another one. I decide that if it’s easier for them to say “replacement” instead of “promotional” then who am I to correct them? I thank her for her kindness and understanding.
I also decide after getting off the phone that should I end up with two Halo 3 discs that one will be auctioned off to benefit small animals.

So about a week goes by and I still haven’t received Halo 3. I put in another call to the Xbox help-line and after being put on hold for a merciful 5 minutes or so I’m told that it will take up to six weeks for my disc to arrive. Hoo Ha Marines! Looks like I’m Call of Duty bound for another 6 weeks or so. That’s ok because I can hone my much need-to-be-honed CoD4 skills.

I’d love to hear from others who participated in this promotion. Have you received your free copy of H3 yet? I will update as soon as 1) I get Halo 3 or 2) I call customer service again. Stay tuned.

Xbox 360 Breaks Down 5 Times In A Row, But Microsoft Refuses To Replace It

In a story found on The Consumerist, a reasonable sounding fellow named Greg wrote to the consumer rights website to tell a horror story that will make most sane people want to stick a hot poker their eye. Greg's Xbox has broken down 5 TIMES. He's asked Microsoft to either give him a new system or refund his money. This sounds like an extremely reasonable request considering violence seems like an appropriate choice. Click Here to see read the full story.

Top 6 Reasons 2008 Could be the Year of PS3

I have a Xbox 360. Previously I had an Xbox. I'm glad Sony payed the humiliating price of failure for arrogantly disrespecting their fans by charging an absurd amount of money for the PS3 upon it's launch. BUT - thing could seriously change in 2008. Sony has gotten it's act together and brought the price of the PS3 down to an incredibly reasonable $399.00 and has a slew of impressive high profile titles loaded in it's rocket launcher. Microsoft is still dealing with hardware issues and came into the new year with crippled online componant.
Read the top 6 reasons why I think 2008 could be the year of the PS3 on the always effervescent Mania.com

read more - digg story

SAVAGE RUMORS: Best Buy isn't ordering the XBOX 360 anymore?

What's up with Xbox and Best Buy? Have you tried to get one since the holidays? Unless you're looking for the "Arcade" model (and frankly, most of us aren't) you can't get the 360 at a Best Buy at ANY of the Los Angeles locations. That's not so odd with it being relatively close to christmas; here's where it gets weird: The Best Buy rep I spoke with said not only are they out but they aren't even on order! HUH?

Click here to see that you can't even order them online!

Seems odd. Could it be that there are big changes in store for Microsoft's game console?

We're still waiting for to find out what the heck is going on. Stay tuned!

SATINY REVIEWS: Mutant Storm Reloaded

Game: Mutant Storm Reloaded
Developer: PomPom
Format: Xbox Live Arcade
Release Date: 11/22/2005
Fuzzy Voltage Grade: A

I bought my Xbox 360 in late November of ’07 so I discovered Mutant Storm Reloaded quite a while after its original launch with the 360 in '05. It has since become my XBLA fetish and with the 360 doing so well over the holidays I thought there might be a number of new Xbox owners unfamiliar with MSR.

Gameplay:

MSR hones 25 year old game play to razor sharp perfection. The "kill everything on screen before it touches or shoots you" style previously found in games like Robotron, Geometry Wars, and Smash TV has been distilled to a pure elegance, a sublime fluidity, a haunting beauty if you will that has both a plastic and organic aesthetic.

MSR approaches impossible difficulty but manages, like any great game, to always seem within reach and achieves an addiction level that’s highly sought yet rarely found. I’ve only been able to reach the 50th level so far (there are 89 in all). The interesting thing is that it’s not that the levels necessarily get harder the higher up you go (though there are some very obstructive and interesting challenges that arise) but the whole game requires a kind of relaxed, intense focus in order to progress without being hit.

Graphics:

MSR's graphics are both ultra retro in inspiration and hyper modern in execution; super clean, precise, biological and mechanical; are we caught in some kind of 1970's microscopic, dystopian gene warfare zone? Each time I sit down to play I feel like I'm entering into a nightmarish Lucite dream world with enemies ranging from itty bitty cell structures to strange tailed nano-creatures. This game is a graphical masterpiece, yes masterpiece. I said it and I stand by it. This is Hi-Def grace and beauty for the new millennium.

Sound and Music:

The music is impeccably “Escape from New York” era John Carpenter. Frankly it’s one of my favorite soundtracks ever for a game. While game music usually tries to manipulate the user into feeling tension and urgency, the music here creates a soft sense of approaching menace that lets the game play itself be the force that stirs the anxiety soup. The music never draws attention to itself but like any truly great soundtrack it is an essential component to the atmosphere and piques the user’s imagination as to what kind of world the game environment resides in.

The sound design is anti-over-the-top; tastefully muted explosions that excellently capture the moment without ever clobbering you over the head. The sound-scape of MSR is one of the components that allows for its extremely addictive gameplay. You’re ears never get fatigued as a result of playing and you’re never annoyed by what you hear.

Tips:

A) Sometimes plowing through a throng of enemies with guns blazing is the only way to get out of a seemingly impossible situation.

B) Don’t forget to use your smart bombs! Probably my #1 reason for dying is forgetting to use the darn smart bomb.

C) Skirt along the perimeter staying against the wall while firing towards the center can often keep you in good shape.

Why I like it more than Geometry Wars:

The truth is that they both provide something different from each other. There’s more than enough room on any shooters fan’s hard drive for both but if I could only choose one…
Geometry Wars is a great game but its style is pure overkill, which is what makes it what it is.
There’s a subtler aspect to MSR while still providing all the twitch and tumble that make a great shooter