Today at approximately 5pm pacific standard time, I started my umpteenth try at defeating the 3rd stage boss in Ninja Gaiden II. A silvery, railroad trainy, electriky organic, machine-o-death kind of thingy.
And then all of a sudden, like a flash from some kind of Max Headroom-like nightmare my screen fills with vertical lines. Hmm. Bad game disk? (I thought). I could still navigate my way around my 360, but only through a haze of vertical lines. Well, there it was on my Xbox Live menu as well. While wishfully thinking I restarted the machine and there it was. An E74 error message and a blinking red light on the front of my console. Not the dreaded red ring of death ok? But still I knew this was gonna suck. So it tells me to go to the Xbox support site. I do. On the site I find a completely useless page that tells me to unplug everything and replug it back in. I do. Nothing. The page on the support site says that if none of the above solves the problem then I should call tech support. I do. The perfectly pleasant tech support guy tells me he's going to have to start a repair order; that I'm going to have to send in my 360 to be repaired. That's what my $60.00 best buy warranty is for I told him in so many words.
My 360 is my crack cocaine. Throughout the course of my life I've given up almost every vice that a human being could possibly live for. Coke, weed, pills, booze, hallucinogens; and last year, the piece DE resistance, my mind saving sanity preserver: Cigarettes. In order to deal with giving up smokes I took up a previous video game addiction. I figured it's better for me than nicotine. It is. So I can't handle having to wait while Microshit sends me a coffin so I can send them my beloved 360 so I can wait while they basterdize it and send it back to me. No fucking way! I will go on a fucking shooting spree if I have to wait 6 to 8 weeks. So, that's why I got the Best Buy 2 year warranty. I just popped on over to Best Buy and BOOM! No questions asked they brought down a brand new glossy 360 box. And even better? It now comes with Forza 2 (and Marvel Ultimate Alliance) so I get that as sort of a great consolation prize for giving up my game saves which I should have asked If I could swap hard drives cause they would have done it 'cause my buddy LIBERTINA GR1M on Xbox Lve told me I probably could so I drove down there again with my new 120 gig hard drive to swap it for my old one and they said sure but doesn't it figure that my old broken down 360 is no long in the store? In the hour and a half since I swapped, the truck came and swept my old broken down 360 away. You know what? I don't really give a shit. So what if I have to start Ninja Gaiden II over again. Actually I'll be starting Bioshock over for the third time; I'm not all too happy about that. But whatever, I didn't think of swapping hard drives when I initially traded out. I won't make that mistake again because you KNOW that eventually, at some point in time this 360 will take a dump just like my other two did. I have no faith whatsoever in Microsoft as a hardware maker. Two previous consoles; both of 'em died. No faith whatsoever. At least I still have my "prestige".
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